Fuck. That's right, I've resorted to the gratuitous swearing, and much faster than most people! I am a true visionary indeed - ahead of my time, some might say. And some might be right. I thank you for all of your support, some.
My sheer infallible talents aside (but how could we ever really ignore them, as they pound at us all with their cacophony of brilliance?), I am in the process of making some new videos. Already, I have released KFCranky, a slight follow-up to KFCreepy, except that there are no similar characters, plots, jokes, shots, sounds or themes. Except for KFC. And ads. And subtitles. And manic, enraged freaks; but this is a common theme to all of my videos. I mostly chose the similar subject matter because fast food ads are usually fairly light-hearted, and this one was no exception.
Aside from describing my videos, this post has another motive (somewhat ulterior) that is rather important to the life of the blog. How ironic that something with life can come from something with no life. Take that, creationists. Anyway, it should be known that I am attempting to post more on the blog; a lot more. Expect more posts more often.
That's it.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Losing Steam
I really need a new graphics card. Now that the epoch of Realtek is over, I can focus on my research of graphics cards for my computer. The thing is, I am losing steam with gaming - don't get me wrong, I love games more than any other media, but the games that I am currently stuck with are not really cutting it anymore. They're:
- Team Fortress 2
- Left 4 Dead
- Counter-Strike: Source
- Garry's Mod
As great as they are, I am losing my patience. Team Fortress 2 is great! I have all of the new weapons now, thanks to Valve's shonky re-addition of milestones, but this is not enough to keep my interest. I feel that Left 4 Dead is great and that I've not spent enough time with it, but there is hardly a community for it anymore, and if there is, they are all American (I am Australian); this coupled with the really, really, really, really bad matchmaking system is enough to make me stop playing all together. Let's not forget about the lack of campaigns and the looming take-over of Left 4 Dead 2, but that rant is for another post. Counter-Strike: Source is suffering from the same problem as Team Fortress 2: not enough variety. And Garry's Mod? Nothing too wrong with it, except that I am really craving a nice, long, heavy, story-driven single player experience. I know where to find it, too.
Fallout 3 eludes me with its shiny, crisp graphics that would fry my poor nVidia 9400 GT. Sure the card has 1 G.B. of RAM, but the RAM of a video card hardly makes a difference these days... Sure, technically I could run Fallout 3, but forget branching story lines and free-roaming exploration; my only two in-game choices would be to either run it on low or run it on medium and endure the lag.
I don't lie to myself and pretend that everyone wants to hear how I feel, unlike so many other bloggers. I understand that you must be reading (or most likely not reading) in search of some kind of gain for yourself - so I will end on some sort of mildly humorous joke or anecdote that is more likely to make you wince than laugh. That way, no one can say I didn't at least try to be entertaining.
What do a proctologist and an accountant have in common? They both work it out with a pencil. What do a prostitute and a good accountant have in common? They both work it out with their head.
Ahh... How shithouse.
- Team Fortress 2
- Left 4 Dead
- Counter-Strike: Source
- Garry's Mod
As great as they are, I am losing my patience. Team Fortress 2 is great! I have all of the new weapons now, thanks to Valve's shonky re-addition of milestones, but this is not enough to keep my interest. I feel that Left 4 Dead is great and that I've not spent enough time with it, but there is hardly a community for it anymore, and if there is, they are all American (I am Australian); this coupled with the really, really, really, really bad matchmaking system is enough to make me stop playing all together. Let's not forget about the lack of campaigns and the looming take-over of Left 4 Dead 2, but that rant is for another post. Counter-Strike: Source is suffering from the same problem as Team Fortress 2: not enough variety. And Garry's Mod? Nothing too wrong with it, except that I am really craving a nice, long, heavy, story-driven single player experience. I know where to find it, too.
Fallout 3 eludes me with its shiny, crisp graphics that would fry my poor nVidia 9400 GT. Sure the card has 1 G.B. of RAM, but the RAM of a video card hardly makes a difference these days... Sure, technically I could run Fallout 3, but forget branching story lines and free-roaming exploration; my only two in-game choices would be to either run it on low or run it on medium and endure the lag.
I don't lie to myself and pretend that everyone wants to hear how I feel, unlike so many other bloggers. I understand that you must be reading (or most likely not reading) in search of some kind of gain for yourself - so I will end on some sort of mildly humorous joke or anecdote that is more likely to make you wince than laugh. That way, no one can say I didn't at least try to be entertaining.
What do a proctologist and an accountant have in common? They both work it out with a pencil. What do a prostitute and a good accountant have in common? They both work it out with their head.
Ahh... How shithouse.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Fonts
What do I love talking about most? Mundane shit! That's right, fuck current affairs and my point of view on humanity - we're talking italics and bold. I understand what bold does. It expresses heavy emphasis on a phrase, word or even a particilar letter in a word; this makes sense. Italics? I have no idea. Is it to illustrate that the italiced word is to be read with an altered inflection? All words are pronounced with different inflections, depending on who you are and how much lung cancer you have. Perhaps it's relative to the reader.
What I like about italics, however, is that if an entire paragraph is italiced up, anything within it that requires a different inflection is put into non-italics. It's a great irony that makes me realise just how empty my life must be for me to notice such things. For instance:
When will my dry cleaning be ready? Thought John. I have been waiting for ages for those mustard stains to be removed!
Above, "ages" was the un-italiced word. See? Of course you do, thanks to my freakishly over-developed explaining skills. The one application of both bold and italics that I despise, however, are sentences or words that are in both italics and bold. Exaple:
"No!" John screamed at his dry cleaner; the small Asian man cowering behind his table full of various cleaning fluids. "I wanted the mustard stains removed, but I wanted you to leave the semen stains as they were!"
Now doesn't the word "leave" just look a tad flashy? I think so. And that's why I am lobbying to get Proposition 254 passed, barring italics and bold from coming within three words of eachother.
What I like about italics, however, is that if an entire paragraph is italiced up, anything within it that requires a different inflection is put into non-italics. It's a great irony that makes me realise just how empty my life must be for me to notice such things. For instance:
When will my dry cleaning be ready? Thought John. I have been waiting for ages for those mustard stains to be removed!
Above, "ages" was the un-italiced word. See? Of course you do, thanks to my freakishly over-developed explaining skills. The one application of both bold and italics that I despise, however, are sentences or words that are in both italics and bold. Exaple:
"No!" John screamed at his dry cleaner; the small Asian man cowering behind his table full of various cleaning fluids. "I wanted the mustard stains removed, but I wanted you to leave the semen stains as they were!"
Now doesn't the word "leave" just look a tad flashy? I think so. And that's why I am lobbying to get Proposition 254 passed, barring italics and bold from coming within three words of eachother.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Back with a vengeance... and no new TF2 weapons
I have been away, and I'm sure I was both missed and mourned due to my overwhelming internet presence. My wonder-riffic P.C. showed me just how much it loved me, and decided to obtain yet another incompatible and corrupt file.
Before I continue, I'd just like to point out that I have changed my name to Sarcasm S. Sarcasmson, as you can plainly see in my previous paragraph. Wow, I've got a handle on this sarcasm thing and I can be subtle. Why aren't I president of the world yet?
Anyway, after four weeks of sitting on a shelf at Harvey Norman, I have my beloved computer back, minus every issue I have ever had with her. Yes. The Realtek HD Audio Manager has been fixed. It is the end of an era. It's like my blog is now in season two. Or something. Luckily, everything was backed up, and I am happier than a hippy who has just found one hundred dollars in a sack made out of un-narkable hemp. Right up until the day after I had my beloved back at home with me, that is.
You see, Team Fortress 2 updated two of the nine playable classes. For those who don't know what Team Fortress 2 is, please see enclosed Appendix 1. Due to an overwhelming negative response to the previous method of unlocking the various alternate weapons, Valve decided to do something a tad different with this new update. Instead of a set of achievements determining what weapons were unlocked, it is now relying on random chance. One (meaning me, of course) could even unlock weapons that they already had. Wow, what a great system for a fast-paced, action-oriented online first-person shooter.
So far, after about 30 hours of play (including leaving my game on overnight), I have unlocked three duplicate items that I already have. I am not going to complain like so many others on the Steam forums, but I will say this:
WTF?!
Obnoxious fonts aside, my weekend is ruined - downed in a pool of useless and frustrating duplicate items.
I did make a new video, though. Check it out on my YouTube channel. That's all for now, three people and that Spanish man. He's my biggest fan - no really, he's sending me emails nearly every "día"... Emails of things you do not want to have in your food.
________________________________________________________
APPENDIX:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TF2.
Before I continue, I'd just like to point out that I have changed my name to Sarcasm S. Sarcasmson, as you can plainly see in my previous paragraph. Wow, I've got a handle on this sarcasm thing and I can be subtle. Why aren't I president of the world yet?
Anyway, after four weeks of sitting on a shelf at Harvey Norman, I have my beloved computer back, minus every issue I have ever had with her. Yes. The Realtek HD Audio Manager has been fixed. It is the end of an era. It's like my blog is now in season two. Or something. Luckily, everything was backed up, and I am happier than a hippy who has just found one hundred dollars in a sack made out of un-narkable hemp. Right up until the day after I had my beloved back at home with me, that is.
You see, Team Fortress 2 updated two of the nine playable classes. For those who don't know what Team Fortress 2 is, please see enclosed Appendix 1. Due to an overwhelming negative response to the previous method of unlocking the various alternate weapons, Valve decided to do something a tad different with this new update. Instead of a set of achievements determining what weapons were unlocked, it is now relying on random chance. One (meaning me, of course) could even unlock weapons that they already had. Wow, what a great system for a fast-paced, action-oriented online first-person shooter.
So far, after about 30 hours of play (including leaving my game on overnight), I have unlocked three duplicate items that I already have. I am not going to complain like so many others on the Steam forums, but I will say this:
WTF?!
Obnoxious fonts aside, my weekend is ruined - downed in a pool of useless and frustrating duplicate items.
I did make a new video, though. Check it out on my YouTube channel. That's all for now, three people and that Spanish man. He's my biggest fan - no really, he's sending me emails nearly every "día"... Emails of things you do not want to have in your food.
________________________________________________________
APPENDIX:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TF2.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Pinch me, I must be stupid...
Has it ever occurred to anyone, that the painfully oft-used cliche of "Pinch me, I must be dreaming..." really makes no logical sense whatsoever? Think about it. One usually feels "pain" within a dream, anyway! It accomplishes nothing but wanky, redundant "dramatic effect". In fact, when is the last time that you even asked that in a dream? The saying should be "I am asking this, so I must not be in a dream!".
That aside, I am about to buy a new graphics card and, wait for it: actually my Realtek HD Audio Manager fixed! Seriously. No joking. This is so historic, I think it deserves a paragraph break.
There we go. I am thinking of getting an nVidia GeForce 200 series, but you never know. The evil temptation that is ATI may seduce me. But more research must be done before such a purchase is made, considering high-end graphics cards are fairly expensive, I can't fuck around with this.
On a less-geeky note (are those notes even in my vernacular?), I am beginning to really take an interest in the British Science-Fiction series Red Dwarf... Wait, did I say less-geeky? I meant to say supporting of the argument that I have no life. It is really great, though. The humour and story elements hold up for a viewer who has never seen it before now (me) and I am sure that nearly every episode could still hook in a veteran of the series (not me) if they happened to catch a glimpse of the opening titles while flicking across T.V. stations on a Fri night. The theme-tune is very catchy, also - it has become a shower favourite, right behind Still Alive from Portal.
That's about all for now; a new video is coming soon. Well, right as soon as a begin work on it. Which is after I configure Sony Vegas. Which is right after I learn how to configure Sony Vegas. Which will be whenever. Also, I am working to get regular readers for this blog because as it stands, I think that the total readership is a friend of mine and a 40-year-old Spanish man who was in the mood for discount footwear but happened upon my previous post instead (mental note: thank Google!). The process of drawing in new readers is what I like to call "A two step process". Very technical, I know, but try not to lose focus. Here it is:
Step 1: Regulate post addition and (possibly) subtraction and multiplication. Wait, scratch those last two... This involves me writing better posts and submitting them more often and more regularly.
Step 2: Bask in readership. This one is more esoteric than Step 1, due to the fact that it may not happen. Here's hoping that Google, in all of its omnipotence, sends another elderly Spanish man unto my blog.
That's it.
That aside, I am about to buy a new graphics card and, wait for it: actually my Realtek HD Audio Manager fixed! Seriously. No joking. This is so historic, I think it deserves a paragraph break.
There we go. I am thinking of getting an nVidia GeForce 200 series, but you never know. The evil temptation that is ATI may seduce me. But more research must be done before such a purchase is made, considering high-end graphics cards are fairly expensive, I can't fuck around with this.
On a less-geeky note (are those notes even in my vernacular?), I am beginning to really take an interest in the British Science-Fiction series Red Dwarf... Wait, did I say less-geeky? I meant to say supporting of the argument that I have no life. It is really great, though. The humour and story elements hold up for a viewer who has never seen it before now (me) and I am sure that nearly every episode could still hook in a veteran of the series (not me) if they happened to catch a glimpse of the opening titles while flicking across T.V. stations on a Fri night. The theme-tune is very catchy, also - it has become a shower favourite, right behind Still Alive from Portal.
That's about all for now; a new video is coming soon. Well, right as soon as a begin work on it. Which is after I configure Sony Vegas. Which is right after I learn how to configure Sony Vegas. Which will be whenever. Also, I am working to get regular readers for this blog because as it stands, I think that the total readership is a friend of mine and a 40-year-old Spanish man who was in the mood for discount footwear but happened upon my previous post instead (mental note: thank Google!). The process of drawing in new readers is what I like to call "A two step process". Very technical, I know, but try not to lose focus. Here it is:
Step 1: Regulate post addition and (possibly) subtraction and multiplication. Wait, scratch those last two... This involves me writing better posts and submitting them more often and more regularly.
Step 2: Bask in readership. This one is more esoteric than Step 1, due to the fact that it may not happen. Here's hoping that Google, in all of its omnipotence, sends another elderly Spanish man unto my blog.
That's it.
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