This is bullshit. When I was a sperm, life seemed like a wonderful prospect full of whimsy, wonderment and constant adventure... But the experience that I kindly refer to as a "life" is hardly the whirlwind of unimaginable adventure that the recruiting video promised it would be. Instead, it's filled with disappointment, lack of fulfillment and a large group of idiots called the General Population. I thought that I could live with this for a while; every now and again, my essence drained to empty, but I got on with it and re-built myself. I really have had enough now.
No, you can all relax. This is not some attention-grabbing prelude to hanging myself. It is simply a shout and a rant, so that anyone who reads this (that's right, both of you) can get some kind of idea of life for others and hopefully apply it to themselves and become a better person. That is all I use the blog for - some mild entertainment for myself, some mild entertainment for others and a learning experience for us all. I've not really talked about my intentions for the blog, or even why I felt the need to create it. And I never will. Probably, that is. Perhaps in the future I will look back at these poorly-edited posts and think about my past - and elaborate for all three of the readers that I will have gained in all of those years. But right now, I feel no need to discuss the very boring and to be honest, very ordinary circumstances that led to me giving birth to this blog out of my anus.
Whatever, I'll do it now. Boredom. That's it. I was bored, and wanted to tell everyone about it, like most bloggers - unlike most bloggers, however, I wish that my reader(s) may gain some insight into the Human condition and apply it to their own lives. Wanky enough for you yet, or would you like me to ejaculate all over the screen?
Please do not email me asking for a picture of me ejaculating on a screen. That would be a bit weird.
Anyway, this sign off will be a regular sign off.
That's it.
See? I told you it would be regular... Oh shit, paradox! *Head explodes*.
Please do not email me asking for a picture of my head exploding. My face head, that is.
No comments:
Post a Comment